September 30, 2008
Crackberry Like Opium
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Business Volunteers for the Arts Feasibility Study
Since my return I've been told by arts, business and funding folks that the program is missed. In response I'm put together a committee of arts and business leaders to conduct a feasibility to study to see if we can re-launch the program. We're keeping a blog http://www.bvastudy.blogspot.com/ and would love your input in the study. All are welcome to share their feedback.
September 29, 2008
Rewriting the Script and Changing the Anchor
In the past three months I've been back out on the Bay and this time I'm craving the challenges to push my physical limits. Sailing with friends on the same boat as 2005, I took the helm and guided us in and out of the Berkeley Marina. It was like writing a new script.
Yesterday I went for a full day sea kayaking class with California Canoe and Kayak in the Oakland Estuary. I wore the wetsuit purchased at a yard sale in June on my final day in DC. It was a tight fit and left no room for figure mystery. That was brave in itself. But the most exciting challenge was stepping past my stretch zone, into the edge of my panic, to deliberately capsize in the kayak while skirted into its cockpit. In other words, I was attached to the boat, upside down in salty water.
This was actually something I had done successfully as a teenager away for the summer at adventure camp in Colorado. But as I've gotten older the experience has become more of a personal urban legend as my fears of losing control took over. Yesterday was a big step to see if I could regain that strength and confidence. I did it! And once I had done it I insisted on capsizing and practicing again and again until I was black and blue, water logged and sunburned.
During our lunch break, Paula and Tim, the instructor and other student in the course, and I had a philosophical discussion about kayaking as a metaphor for change management. Paula shared with us that kayaking is really just placing the paddle in the water and moving the boat past it to a new place. The paddle stays still and the boat moves. This is difficult to visualize unless there are unmoving objects around the paddle, such as seaweed or floating wood. Only with those obstacles nearby can you see that the paddle is anchored and the boat gliding. We shared how this was true when promoting personal or organizational evolution. Lead with a gentle touch, ever so slightly correcting the path to move past the obstacles. Strength and bravado are not necessary.
This is the powerful metaphor I use in my personal inspiration of the Sleek Yellow Kayak. Paula gave me a choice of kayaks for our course and I chose a yellow one. The kayak became an extension of myself as we moved along the water playfully. It also became my lifeline as I clung to its side while capsized in the Bay. What a tremendously positive anchor around which I write my new script.
Tina Fey is Brilliant
Here's the "real deal".
September 27, 2008
Gussied Up
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September 26, 2008
Double Fisted Crackberry-ing
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September 25, 2008
Gay Pride
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Unusual California Sky
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September 23, 2008
Political Snap Shot
Governor Palin met with former Secretary of State Henry A. Kissinger. (Photo: Stan Honda/ AFP-Getty Images)
Reading the Tealeaves
September 22, 2008
Hiking for Social Justice
To bring attention to the porters Holly is creating a feature documentary film "Cloudwalkers of Kilimanjaro" through the eyes of the local Tanzanian people who make their living by working on the mountain.
Nearly 20 years after graduating from Ithaca College Holly and I are reconnected, finding a shared concern for promoting social change in developing countries.
HOW YOU CAN HELP...
By supporting my hike, you can take part in the solution.
To raise funds for the film Holly and I are hiking Mount Baldy located outside of Los Angeles, California on October 25, 2008. Our goal is to raise $15,000 so that Holly and her film crew can return to Mt. Kilimanjaro in January to begin researching and scouting in preparation for the film shoot.
My personal goal is to raise $1,000 and every donation helps. Please consider making a fully tax-deductible contribution which can be easily done online www.firstgiving.com/amykweskin.
You are also invited to participate in the hike. Just ask me for details.
Thank you for considering this request.
September 21, 2008
Thoughts on Yardsales
Selling your things is always a reality check on taste. I kept looking at my stuff (I only had a few things for sale since I have so few posessions) and thinking, "wow, I have good taste." When people purchased my things I noticed they did so in bulk. Hardly anyone walked away with just one of my items, they always had at least two. That tells me that we have the same taste good and the items were going to good homes.
My housemate Jessica, Stacey's sister, was so funny when it came to pricing. People would hold up items and call across to her (she was sitting a safe distance away on the front steps), "how much?" She would take a good 30 seconds on every item, looking up at the sky, biting her lip, shrugging her shoulders and then coming up with a price. Stacey and I held our breaths each time as we hoped the process would quicken. But no, this was a historic exploration for Jessica. She was running through all the memories of the piece, where it came from and how much she still liked it. This process was particularly amusing to one customer who was charged $1 for old flipflops and 50 cents for a new frame. "How come the pricing seems reversed, wouldn't you charge more for the new frame?" No, said Jessica, "I still like the flipflops but I don't care about the frame."
The whole day was easy going. Easy setup, friendly customers, fast cleanup and a quick trip to Good Will with our leftovers. That's key. You have to bag up the stuff and take it away immediately, otherwise you start to have sentimental feelings and hold on to it. What I noticed about my stuff was last-in, first-out. I was happy to sell items I had just recently purchased. Hum. Commitment issues?
September 18, 2008
Women Rock
It hit home when I was in DC last week for my brother's wedding. My cousin Liz, who I hadn't seen in 5 years (so unacceptable and my doing) told me that I could do anything I want. She's pursuing a PhD, which I've flirted with for a few years now. She said Amy, go for it. Liz is making it happen as a single mom and here I am with basically zero responsibilities hemming and hawing.
My girlfriends are inspirations. Not to sound sexist but they are strong with and without men. Gosh, I am free to live my dreams too.
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September 16, 2008
Art as Health Insurance
The combination of movement and voice are built on layers of mathematics calculations. As the dancers become proficient in each new level they add another layer. Proficiency is realized when you have reached the capacity for your mind to wonder. This moves the dancers out of their meditative presence requiring new layers of complication which they describe as splitting the mind. One woman was able to sing, dance and play an instrument with 16 beats of movement. I'm confused just trying to explain it.
Watching the dancers, who are all women, you can see the joy and intensity they are experiencing by their facial expressions. It was awe inspiring to see their transformation into the meditative state.
Their guru, who taught them the methodology and inspired their self-created choreography introduced two of the youngest group members who have been studying with him since they were little girls. He asked them to share what it iis they do for their profession. One is a film maker and the other prices health insurance. The guru said, "this is your life insurance. It keeps you healthy. If only these women could make a living from their art."
It was an interesting concept to thin of art as being so vital to life that it was considered health insurance. Today I was struck again by this realization when I received an email from a friend in Houston. I had written her asking if she was okay after the storm. Her response was that they had no electricity and their house gate was broken but they still had enough sunshine to paint. Art as health and life insurance.
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September 13, 2008
Matt is Ready
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Rehearsal!
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Flowers Chilling
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Seats are Ready
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Connecting with Cousins
We were all together at a giant gathering-of-the-family-and-friends party on the eve of Matt and Rachel's wedding. Funny how kids turn into a pack animals and run like wolves on these occasions. I jumped in and spent some quality time with the gaggle watching young Japanese women compete for the title of Ninja Warrior on some obscure TV channel. As we cheered and jeered I couldn't help thinking that the show was a bit racy for three year olds. The kids got completely riled up and I was covered in wiggly, cuddly, love-biting tots which was both wonderful and, well, a bit overwhelming at the same time.
September 12, 2008
Change of Scene
Yesterday we were at Rachel's (Matt's partner) Mother's house, the location of the ceremony and reception. The tent is setup and we were working on the flowers, rolling silverware in napkins and generally spending time together. Then the cupcake baking in the afternoon at Teaism. Today it is back to the house for more flower arranging, hanging lights and setting up tables and chairs. This evening a party at Rachel's brother and sister-in-law's house.
My mom arrived on Monday. I got here Wednesday. Dad and my two grandmothers arrived yesterday afternoon and today the Plotkin side of the family (mom's kin) arrives in full force.
More photos to come.
September 11, 2008
Dad and Grandma Explore the Crackberry
Of course my dad is the original crackberry addict. Here he tries to get his mother addicted.
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Mom and Lucy Hit the Road
September 10, 2008
Americans are Visual
This culture of looking works for visual folks like me who love soaking up details. In the UK I felt odd diverting my eyes and noticed that no one even sneaked a peek at each other.
Sitting on this Southwest flight heading out to DC there is lots to look at because we Americans are so visually interesting.
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Heart Artist at Oakland Airport
The artworks of the Hearts in San Francisco project heart artists are in every corner of the Bay Area. Here is the work of Hung Liu in the Oakland airport. Her beautiful and compelling gold Heart was placed in front of the Asian Art Museum during the installation and then I believe it was senator Dianne Feinstein who purchased it at the auction.
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September 9, 2008
Me and David
Here I am with my former intern from London David! He lives in SoCal and was up in San Francisco for work. We haven't seen each other in a year but he reads this blog and is more up to date on my life than my parents! It is always strange to talk to an avid reader live and in person because they know so much about me.
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September 8, 2008
Sparking
Over lunch today with my friend Michael I felt a change. He was reflecting on the work I use to do with Business Arts Council running Business Volunteers for the Arts. It was extraordinary to hear how his volunteer project changed his life. It was my tipping point. For the past several months the love has been coming my way and then reconnecting with Michael pushed me into the zone. I would call it the Amy Getting Her Groove Back Zone.
After lunch I immediately emailed all the Alumni Business Volunteers for the Arts that I could find in my address book and proposed a reunion. Instead of running away from the arts and saying what I'm not doing I now realize I should embrace the arts as my area of expertise while continuing to expand my skills and scope of work.
This has been a big day of revelations. Good thing I had an ice cream sundae for dinner to keep me energized.
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Meant to be Together
I met some fascinating folks. Never have I been in a group of people where the majority had PhDs and MBAs. Not only were they book smart but also heart smart. I had numerous "deep" conversations about life, love, core values and careers that advance tour personal missions.
one guy, David, chatted with me about recovering from a broken heart. I was saying that I am letting my heart recover from my breakup and using this time to gain firm footing and not be in a relationship with anyone other than myself. He referred to an article he recently read that said human nature is for us to be in a relationship - to find our wholeness with a partner. That hit me in the heart. For the past few years I have been grappling with my need to be partnered and punishing myself for feeling un-whole. but I do believe that one of my core values is to be with a partner who believes we are meant to be together creating a stronger whole.
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September 6, 2008
Artesa Winery Napa
Following our di Rosa Preserve visit we ventured out to Artesa Winery which is built on top of a hill or more accurately into the top of a hill. Like an ancient pyramid it hidden by greenery that covers its slanted walls. As you walk up to the entrance there is a giant pond and fountain (not very green). The glass artwork of Artist in Residence Gordon Huether is everywhere. In the foreground of this photo is a torpedo-like object covered with bits of colorful glass.
Our friends Thelma and Walter are wine club members which gave us privileged access to their Library wines. By far our favorite is the 2006 Chardonnay Carneros. It was like eating a slice of cake.
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Nature Remains
This is just a piece of an art installation by Ray Beldner at the di Rosa Preserve. The letters are about four feet tall.
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Meadow at di Rosa Preserve
After many weeks of planning a group of us went out to the di Rosa Preserve in Napa. This is a vineyard and meadow site housing a collection of contemporary artworks by San Francisco Bay Area artists collected by Rene di Rosa and his wife Veronica.
It is an amazing facility in the true casual-elegance that can only be Napa Valley. Farmhouses that are somehow old and modern in the same breath house absolutely fascinating pieces of art. Ranging from art cars to flying Virgin Mary's, the world's tallest filing cabinet to a house made of glass bottles, this is a feast of whimsy.
I was surprised by how many artists, from the Hearts in San Francisco project that I managed, were represented in the collection. Only now, four years after the event, do I fully appreciate the significance of the artists who were asked to participate. The project's creators were in effect commissioning art from the Bay Area's most edgy emerging and seasoned artists.
Most of the preserve pieces are out in a meadow and we were warned to wear comfortable clothes and shoes. However, I felt like being quite girly and decided to wear my one and only pair of high heals. Everyone was concerned about my ability to teeter totter on all the bits of rock and to step over the high grasses, but I am proud to say that I did not fall, twist an ankle or even clunk around like a ostrich on stilts. I looked quite good thank you.
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September 5, 2008
Earthquake!
Turns out it was a 4.0 centered near Danville.
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September 3, 2008
Grabbing a BlackBerry Moment
I notice that I am not alone when I reach for the Crackberry while waiting for public transit, riding an escalator, waiting on line at the grocery store, or cooking pancakes (comfort food of choice). Everyone around me has their Crackberry out too. Perhaps we are all talking to each other.
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Pleasant Day at the DMV
All the employees were friendly and chatty. However, the folks online were very grumpy. I imagine that they are unaware of the internet appointment option. It is likely that many don't have computers. Now back to my bike and into the city!
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September 1, 2008
Understanding the Grieving Process
Grieving Process - Phase I
The grieving process usually begins once the person is informed of the death. During this phase, the person experiences a vast array of emotions - anger, sadness, shock, disbelief, etc. The first phase of the grieving process can last for several weeks.
Grieving Process - Phase II
After the initial reaction to the death, the numbness begins to wear off and the person may feel that the pain of the loss is nearly unbearable. Although many people may keep this painful feeling bottled up, it is best to express the pain. Hiding it and trying to "be strong" for others is not healthy. It's best to find someone to talk to who can understand the emotions and pain. Seeking help from community resources for support is recommended.
Grieving Process - Phase III
Once the unbearable pain of the loss has subsided, a person may begin to reminisce and try to re-experience past events with the deceased. Looking through photo albums, re-visiting places, and wearing jewelry of the deceased are some examples of how people may choose to remind themselves of past times with the deceased.
Grieving Process - Phase IV
The fourth phase of the grieving process involves a "reinvesting" of ones life. The bereaved begins to show signs of adjustment to life without the deceased. Discussions of "starting over" may occur, as well as changes to the bereaved's physical environment. It is not until this phase of the grieving process that the bereaved seems to be coping with the loss.
Grieving Process - Phase V & VI
During phases V & VI of the grieving process, the bereaved begins relinquishing attachments to past roles and relationships with the deceased. The past relationship is replaced with a new "memory" relationship. The bereaved begins to actively reinvest themselves in the "new" world - a world without their loved one.
Grieving Process - Phase VII
During the final phase of the grieving process, the bereaved is able to think and speak of the deceased person without pain. Although the person may still feel sadness, the pain has subsided.