July 29, 2012

SUWF = Single Urban Woman with Freedom

In preparation for teaching a marketing class I watched the video Secrets of the Super Brands Fashion: Superbrand Chic and in it a representative from UK Glamour magazine said that their primary target market are women around the age of 28. The magazine targets these woman because they are likely at the prime of their spending. Perhaps they are in a relationship, most likely they do not have kids, and so they have a significant amount of discretionary income.

This newsy bit got me thinking about my own lifestyle. I am a single 43-year-old woman, living in an urban area, owning my own home, and without kids. Goodness, all my income is pretty much discretionary. Plus, how I spend my time is completely up to me. Many of my friends are in the same "category" but what do you call us?

SUWF = Single Urban Woman with Freedom

I'm sure there must be something better but at least this is a start.

I googled "Single Urban Woman with No Kids" and the Urban Dictionary took me to a page with an ironic listing called the San Francisco Syndrome. This was an amusing take on why it is so challenging to date fantastic single men in the Bay Area. Thankfully there are fantastic gay men. I can't help but wonder if this was written by an angry single straight man:

San Francisco Syndrome
"A condition affecting many heterosexual males living within major urban centers such as San Francisco, USA and Vancouver, Canada that have demographics of both a disproportionately high population of gay men and a disproportionately high ratio of single women over single straight men.

With such demographics ostensibly in their favor, a surprisingly small number of single straight men in such centers take pleasure in the availability of so many single women.

Rather, the single straight males afflicted with the San Francisco Syndrome become intimidated, resentful and reclusive, refusing to socialize in such demographics, preferring to remain at home playing with their remote controls.

This leads to the single women becoming more and more independent, more friendly with gay men, and generally (if not totally content) far more prepared to remain single.

Which in turn leads to a further schizm with the absent single males, often leading to their feelings of general insecurity, misogyny and homophobia.

The result is the three most prominent social groups found in such cities: gay men, their single women friends and the absentee, almost invisible single straight males."

Scooter Girl

Rented a scooter to get mentally ready to ride on the back of my friend Jeff's Harley to the A's game this Tuesday. Achieved my goal of learning to ride a new vehicle. Go A's!

July 22, 2012

World's Biggest Lemon?

I picked it from my friend Una's tree.

Mystery Flowers

On a hike in Huckleberry Preserve up in the Oakland hills.

Enough with the Jewish Angst

Last night I went to see Woody Allen's latest film To Rome with Love and was overcome with the feeling of "same old, same old". The Jewish angst, played out by Allen and every one of his characters, did not have a Jewish theme in the film, but it certainly had the familiar overtones of overworked anxiety.

Earlier in the day, I had been reflecting on how my language and behavior, sometimes, can convey victimhood or less-than-ness. This is not my intention but can be my Modus operandi. What I really want to convey is, "hey, I'm a cool chick with lots to offer the world" but instead I can come across as, "hey, I'm a cool chick, I have a lot to offer the world, please enable me." Oy. 

I think that this angst-approach to life seems safe. You can't hurt me if I'm already down. But, really, it causes the other person or people anxiety. How should I interact with this person? Why do I feel so strangely powerful around them? Why am I having these thoughts? At least that is what I imagine the other person wondering, if they wonder at all. Anxiety making to say the least.

In his May 26, 2012 New York Times Opinionator piece, Do Jews Own Anxiety, Daniel Smith writes that the conflicting message of Jew as anxious victim and Jew as intellectual hero is a way of claiming mental power.

"Because if anxiety is rooted in excessive intellectual activity, then it is also rooted, by association, in excessive intelligence. When a Jew says he’s a member of the most neurotic tribe in existence, it’s a backhanded way of saying he’s a member of the smartest tribe in existence, the tribe of Spinoza and Marx and Freud and Einstein — and Roth and Allen. It’s a way of claiming mental power (Smith)."

But he concludes, and I agree, "There’s a whole history of claiming that anxiety, for all the pain it causes, is a sign that the person who struggles with it exists in a higher state of being than those who don’t — that they are more alive to life’s contradictions, more receptive to the true nature of things, that they have sharper vision, more sensitive skin. That they are more conscious than other people (Smith)."

I believe that anxiety is painful and damaging, to oneself and others. It is an agitated state of mind that then causes physical agitation. Watching Allen's latest film, you see it play out on screen. Each character hurts another by over-analyzing and then manipulating through underhanded power. The role Alec Bladwin plays is that of the Greek Chorus where he is both in and not in the scene, speaking as the reality-based conscience translating mixed message and predicting disaster. "Another lie!" he says as one character seduces another through her intelligence and anxiety.

Smith concludes his article with, "And I am here to tell you: this is a really dangerous position to accept (Smith)." Why dangerous? Because it perpetuates stereotypes, causes personal and communal anxiety, and is a backhanded way of getting what you want.

How about living simply and in the moment? What if you could be present and experience what is around you and not try to warp reality through a lens of anxiety? This would lead to clearer communications and offering loving-kindness for yourself and others.

July 21, 2012

Yoga Tie Dye

My long-time yoga friends are having a BBQ and we're making tie dye clothes - adult day camp fun.

July 7, 2012

Missed My Flight

But had a fantastic massage in Dulles airport. Thought my flight was at 9:05am but it was really at 7:05. American made the ticket change without a fuss and I had enough time to get the massage.

Now to work on my final syllabus for classes which start on Monday. I had the Professor dream last night of forgetting your classroom and your students not hearing you speak over their noise. Back to school.

July 4, 2012

Busboys and Poets

Serving up the most beautiful vertical cobb salad in Hyattsville, MD.