Today, following the co-facilitation of a staff team-building retreat with Dewey Schott, I had a realization that our lives are filled with "defining moments". There are times throughout our existence when something deeply informs our direction. They are incidents that are so influential that they impact how we perceives ourselves, define our values, direct our course or develop behavior. In the best cases these moments are positive and at the worst they are negative. Often we don't recognize these defining moments until someone asks us to reflect on them - which is often the case in a retreat setting.
What I recognized is that your response to these defining moments can be positive or negative, panic or excitement, inspiration or suffocation. As a defining moment the impact is going to be extreme in either direction. As I chart my own path I'm recognizing that stepping back in the "now" to reflect on these defining moments is essential, especially when you are moving towards panic. It is a choice to frame the situation as negative or positive. My theory is you only live once and you choose your own path. We also choose our reaction, although sometimes it feels like we don't have a choice.
My personal objective is to reduce stress, live peacefully and to do onto others as I would have them do on to me. Recognizing these values I am choosing to see potentially negative situations as learning opportunities, a chance to be a stronger, more pro-active, well-defined person with a vision and mission that drives me forward. I am taking hold of these defining moments and determining my own definition instead of letting them define me.
Showing posts with label dewey schott. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dewey schott. Show all posts
November 18, 2009
June 30, 2008
Stretching out of your Comfort Zone without Panicking
Every hour I feel more re-connected to San Francisco. The first night was unsettling, having moved yet again. This morning I woke up feeling inspired and motivated to move into my stretch zone. The Zone System is an excellent way to work on goal building. Dewey Schott and I used it in our Personal Evolution: Peer Coaching Circles workshop at the Americans for the Arts convention in Philly last week.
I illustrate the zones as concentric circles. Comfort zone is in the center, stretch zone is the next circle out and panic zone is the furthest from the core. Here's how to think about each zone..
Comfort zone:
Living in the central circle, the core, a familiar, comfortable existence, even no taking any risks and perhaps maybe not getting any rewards - it may be comfortable but it may also be safer than stretching, but are you fulfilled? I visualize the comfort zone as being seated and perhaps evening shlumping.
Stretch zone:
Dewey calls it the breath-taking zone - moving beyond comfort and familiar in your goal setting to a more exciting, fulfilling and breath-taking place. I see this as getting out of that comfort chair and stepping behind it, moving outside that inner circle.
Panic zone:
Been there, lived that - the zone in which your goals are so overly ambitious or your situation so overwhelming and far from your comfortable core that you start to panic, shut down and run for your comfort zone.
How do you stay in the stretch without getting stuck too much in comfort and panic? Break down your goals into small accomplishable, controllable steps. Yes, keep that big picture vision and get there by seeing what actions you can take outside of your comfort zone to get you into your stretch zone.
This move to San Francisco is moving between all these zones. I keep saying to myself - you have your whole life to work towards your vision and it takes small steps to get there. I can hide in someone's spare bedroom for forever. I can have ginormous goals that put me into a panic or I can create a personal vision and take stretch zone steps to move in that direction.
I illustrate the zones as concentric circles. Comfort zone is in the center, stretch zone is the next circle out and panic zone is the furthest from the core. Here's how to think about each zone..
Comfort zone:
Living in the central circle, the core, a familiar, comfortable existence, even no taking any risks and perhaps maybe not getting any rewards - it may be comfortable but it may also be safer than stretching, but are you fulfilled? I visualize the comfort zone as being seated and perhaps evening shlumping.
Stretch zone:
Dewey calls it the breath-taking zone - moving beyond comfort and familiar in your goal setting to a more exciting, fulfilling and breath-taking place. I see this as getting out of that comfort chair and stepping behind it, moving outside that inner circle.
Panic zone:
Been there, lived that - the zone in which your goals are so overly ambitious or your situation so overwhelming and far from your comfortable core that you start to panic, shut down and run for your comfort zone.
How do you stay in the stretch without getting stuck too much in comfort and panic? Break down your goals into small accomplishable, controllable steps. Yes, keep that big picture vision and get there by seeing what actions you can take outside of your comfort zone to get you into your stretch zone.
This move to San Francisco is moving between all these zones. I keep saying to myself - you have your whole life to work towards your vision and it takes small steps to get there. I can hide in someone's spare bedroom for forever. I can have ginormous goals that put me into a panic or I can create a personal vision and take stretch zone steps to move in that direction.
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