Defining Moments

Today, following the co-facilitation of a staff team-building retreat with Dewey Schott, I had a realization that our lives are filled with "defining moments". There are times throughout our existence when something deeply informs our direction. They are incidents that are so influential that they impact how we perceives ourselves, define our values, direct our course or develop behavior. In the best cases these moments are positive and at the worst they are negative. Often we don't recognize these defining moments until someone asks us to reflect on them - which is often the case in a retreat setting.

What I recognized is that your response to these defining moments can be positive or negative, panic or excitement, inspiration or suffocation. As a defining moment the impact is going to be extreme in either direction. As I chart my own path I'm recognizing that stepping back in the "now" to reflect on these defining moments is essential, especially when you are moving towards panic. It is a choice to frame the situation as negative or positive. My theory is you only live once and you choose your own path. We also choose our reaction, although sometimes it feels like we don't have a choice.

My personal objective is to reduce stress, live peacefully and to do onto others as I would have them do on to me. Recognizing these values I am choosing to see potentially negative situations as learning opportunities, a chance to be a stronger, more pro-active, well-defined person with a vision and mission that drives me forward. I am taking hold of these defining moments and determining my own definition instead of letting them define me.

Zen and the Art of Collaboration

I love collaborating. This is new for me, something I've embraced in the last few years. Actually, it is more than embrace, it is the work that I do every day. Previously I thought I had to have all the answers and everyone else was just slowing me down,or watering down my ideas. Now I know that collaborating takes good ideas and makes them great. Perhaps this evolution of my working style has come from maturity, good co-collaborators, or more confidence in being able to step back and not feel threatened - or a love of learning.

The challenge I am now facing is how to maintain "zen" when you collaborate. I have very high standards around service delivery and being on-time. Any barrier to being able to live up to my working-values, makes me zingy. But when you collaborate you only have control over yourself and not others. So, how do I find balance in these situations without having a total meltdown?

I suppose letting go of perfection is one step. Or, realizing that there is no such thing as being perfect. We use to say about our graphic design projects that there is always some error you find after going to print. That was the "zen error". Once you discovered the inevitable snafu you could let go because there was no more anxiety about waiting for the imperfection to appear.

Collaboration is like theatre and sports. Interactions may have an intended outcome and move along an agenda-driven progression. But in the end, when you bring many folks together, you have to give up control. Even more important, you want to raise your entire team up to a higher level and avoid that pitfall of blaming others. So not zen.

Reflexology Relaxes Your Soul

I'm more than a bit addicted to reflexology. Just got home from another session and I feel so super mellow. That makes two in two weeks.

The best part of the experience is the assessment from the reflexologist following the treatment. Your feet reveal so much about you. The practitioner always knows how to hit the most needy spots. Little crunchies give it away.

My spine, colon, face, neck and liver are the most crunchy part of my feet. That means they have the most chemical deposits that need rubbing out. I honestly feel all kinds of gurgling in my belly when certain parts of my foot are rubbed. I wonder how walking and wearing the wrong shoes impact your vital organs?

Every time I go they tell me the same thing - that I need to reduce stress in my life. This time Amy, the reflexologist, suggested that I write up a list of stressful things and start eliminating them one by one. Hum. Plus, she recommended that I meditate and practice yoga. Since I already do these things imagine how much more stressful my life would be without them?

If you want a one hour holiday for your soul/sole I highly recommend reflexology.

Image from a cool blog post about Reflexology in Bali.