Our Safe Word

I had the most spectacular afternoon and evening with my good friends Rachel and David in Oakland. Just like my sibs safely catching me when I arrived in DC, Rachel and David are here for me in the Bay Area.

David is attempting to entice me to move to their Oakland neighborhood - which use to be my neighborhood too in 2000. We walked to a bakery, had chai and then found an awesome free desk on the way back to their place to meet Rachel who was finishing her work-from-home day. Then we took a road trip up to the Oakland Hills to visit with Rachel's mule named Pippi Longstocking. Wonderful views and amazing animal.

From here I strong armed D&R to visit Alameda to see the beach and of course eat at my favorite sushi place. Luck had it that David just celebrated his birthday so we milked it at the sushi restaurant which goes all out on your birthday.

The real "aha" moment of the day was at the sushi restaurant when D&R asked me what I want to be doing in two years. Yes, the exact question I ask my coaching clients. My response "building social enterprise initiatives in Africa." Whoa... what inner voice said that? I realized, once again, that I'm all about leadership development and that I am motivated to keep my work moving internationally. So, I suggested to D&R that when I get off track, which is my patent panic zone action, they should remind me of my goal by saying my safe word which is "spaghetti" in honor of my mother. That's a whole 'nother story.

MUNI Meltdown

Well, I had my first Alameda County Transit, BART and MUNI experiences today getting from San Francisco to Oakland and back. Getting to Oakland was not too much of a problem. Getting back was quite an adventure. It ended with Nicole having to rescue me from Giant's ATT Park after MUNI shut down due to baseball crowds. Could I have felt any closer to 15 years old? Thank goodness for good friends.

Stretching out of your Comfort Zone without Panicking

Every hour I feel more re-connected to San Francisco. The first night was unsettling, having moved yet again. This morning I woke up feeling inspired and motivated to move into my stretch zone. The Zone System is an excellent way to work on goal building. Dewey Schott and I used it in our Personal Evolution: Peer Coaching Circles workshop at the Americans for the Arts convention in Philly last week.

I illustrate the zones as concentric circles. Comfort zone is in the center, stretch zone is the next circle out and panic zone is the furthest from the core. Here's how to think about each zone..

Comfort zone:
Living in the central circle, the core, a familiar, comfortable existence, even no taking any risks and perhaps maybe not getting any rewards - it may be comfortable but it may also be safer than stretching, but are you fulfilled? I visualize the comfort zone as being seated and perhaps evening shlumping.

Stretch zone:
Dewey calls it the breath-taking zone - moving beyond comfort and familiar in your goal setting to a more exciting, fulfilling and breath-taking place. I see this as getting out of that comfort chair and stepping behind it, moving outside that inner circle.

Panic zone:
Been there, lived that - the zone in which your goals are so overly ambitious or your situation so overwhelming and far from your comfortable core that you start to panic, shut down and run for your comfort zone.

How do you stay in the stretch without getting stuck too much in comfort and panic? Break down your goals into small accomplishable, controllable steps. Yes, keep that big picture vision and get there by seeing what actions you can take outside of your comfort zone to get you into your stretch zone.

This move to San Francisco is moving between all these zones. I keep saying to myself - you have your whole life to work towards your vision and it takes small steps to get there. I can hide in someone's spare bedroom for forever. I can have ginormous goals that put me into a panic or I can create a personal vision and take stretch zone steps to move in that direction.