Gratitude: Sunlight and Shadows

Chilly morning with rain so Jazzercise was cancelled. Instead, I took a bike ride along the American River. Clouds opened up to reveal blue sky. The result was strong highlights and shadows. This view from under the bridge always catches my eye. Today it was more vibrant with the post-rain sunshine. The contrast between nature's infrastructure and human-made infrastructure is always of interest to me. Gratitude for this beautiful morning, an unexpected bike ride and giving myself permission to stop and take a photo.

 

Gratitude: Realizing I am lonely

Took me a while, like 10 months, to realize that I am lonely. Wasn't lonely at first in the sheltering in place. But then I met a man, fell in love and he lives far away. So now, there is aloneness which is amplifying loneliness. Plus, just the general situation of being isolated in our homes and if you live alone, there is added isolation. The cat gives me love and sleeps on my heart but it isn't the same as human contact.

Of course I am not the only one having these feelings. The entire world is lonely these days. My gratitude is for recognizing and honoring this loneliness instead of being hard on myself for wondering why I feel this way. Loneliness doesn't impact my work but it certainly is amplified on nights and weekends. For the past 10 months I've literally thrown myself into work but after the holiday break, when there was quiet time for reflection, going back to working 24-7 feels like the road to burnout. 

Here's to all of us, everyone, who is trying to persevere - meeting all levels of success and failure in the pursuit. I feel you. 

Gratitude: Morning Fog

Wrote a Haiku as I gazed out my bedroom window this morning.

soft white light brightens

diffused trunks branches leaves birds

fog paints the landscape

Gratitude: My Own Home

This Saturday night I am in my kitchen cooking up meals for the week. Savory aromas and warmth of the oven make my home cozy. So grateful to have my own home that envelopes me in comfort. I never take this for granted as I have worked hard to be independent and to care of myself. Like a cat, I always land on my feet.

Gratitude: Bike Ride Mantra Meditation: What am I doing right now?

Took a long bike ride after lunch today and kept repeating this mantra in the form of a question: "what am I doing right now?" This kept me focused on what my body was doing, literally, for the 75 minute ride. Each time my mind went into ideas and exploration, I re-focused on the physical activity. This was a hard practice, physically and mentally, because I kept looking down at the earth when usually my eyes and mind wander the external and internal landscapes. 

What I noticed is that my abdominals, glutes and hamstrings were the most engaged part of my physiology. Left and right sides of my body were not working with equal effort, which is something for me to keep building towards. As I became aware of these active areas my shoulders would relax and my breathing would deepen. 

This was a hard practice, physically and mentally, because I kept looking down at the earth when usually my eyes and mind wander the external and internal landscapes. 

I was also aware that my mind would wander into what I am labelling "mind map spiders" of ideas. One thought would ripple out into multiple thoughts and within seconds I was no longer present. Revisiting my mantra "what am I doing right now" would bring me back to the moment. The pathway rolled beneath me and I was able to ride 12 miles in what felt like 20 minutes. 

My gratitude today is in my ability to meditate and ride. For the next several hours after the excursion my breathing was centered, deep and calm. I am committed to incorporating this meditation practice into my rides, at least once a week.

Gratitude: Veterans Yoga Project

Today I began yoga Mindful Resilience Training (MRT) with the Veterans Yoga Project. 

Ever since I started teaching as a professor I have had the honor of working with many Veterans. Over the years I've learned how to be a good leader in the classroom and to create a safe environment. Many of my students at Golden Gate University, in The Manager as Communicator and Emotional and Social Intelligence at Work courses, are Veterans who have expressed a desire to increase their sense of calm, ease and relaxation. There always seemed to be an opportunity to bring awareness and intention to a mindfulness practice through movement and breath work. 

After completing this course my intention is to offer free yoga classes (online for now) to the Veteran community - perhaps directly through GGU and maybe through the Veterans Yoga Project.

The gratitude I express today is in learning that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is recoverable. As a yoga teacher I can provide a safe external environment through clear asana, pranayama and meditation sequences that allow participants to find a safe internal space for their own healing. 

Gratitude: Biking to Jazzercise

Amalita - the little Amy bike

During the pandemic I discovered a Jazzercise near my home. I never imagined I would take the classes but these have turned out to be a lifeline to meet new people and be safely socially distanced during a time of isolation. For this I am grateful.

Here's my bike that I've kitted-out for Sunday Jazzercise class travel. Amalita (the little Amy) is folding, has panniers, is adorned here with my Golden Gate University sweatshirt on the seat and my Camelbak water backpack hanging from the handlebars. She sums-up my self-contained and self-reliant life.

Gratitude: Train Spotting

Train passing near the American River Parkway trail

Taking a late afternoon bike ride along the American River, a practice in itself, I heard the whistle of an approaching train. For three months I've passed under these rail road tracks but have never seen a train. I realized today was my lucky day, but I had to move quickly to get to the vantage point for viewing. 

Back in November I was up on the raised train tracks and met a trainspotter who was on his lunch break from Costco located nearby. He timed his breaks so that he could watch trains ramble past as he clocked their travel on his walkie talkie. Hearing the train reminded me of him and the romantic notion of trainspotting. 

Today I am grateful that I was the trainspotter. The sound of the roaring engine and the shaking of the earth put me in an energy frenzy. I would not miss this opportunity to see the train up close. I scrambled up the bank with my bike and was able to hear the roar and experience the rumble. Plus, I was close enough to feel the wind of the train as it passed my spot. With all these feelings I cried tears of gratitude as I waved hello to the engineer and dozens of cars later waved goodbye to the caboose. Each train tells a story and I could imagine the journey of these now-empty cars which at some point were filled with materials. Or, were they on their way to be filled?

Caboose and cars empty on their return journey.

Gratitude: Backyard Views From the Levees

I begin this year with a practice of expressing gratitude each day. 

Day 1 is walking along the American River Parkway. Portions of the river are lined by levees on top of which are wide gravelly pathways for meandering and biking. I am grateful for living in a community that is open to sharing the beauty of their backyard menageries.

TED Talk on Gratitude by Louie Schwartzberg

Grateful for Tomorrow's Leaders

Every night before I go to bed I think about the day and reflect on the "roses" - meaningful interactions with friends, fellow yogis, co-workers, or even strangers. This practice puts a beautiful ending on each day and helps me sleep better. You may notice that in my list of roses, I did not include students. This is because when I leave the classroom I deliberately close the door on thinking about my 100 students. 

However, the first thought I had this morning when I awoke was about the work my students did in yesterday's Executive Leadership class. Their assignment was to create six criteria by which they would determine if someone is a Level 5 leader, defined by Jim Collins, the author of Good to Great, as person "who operates first and foremost with genuine humility." The students were assigned to then use their criteria to evaluate a leader of their choice to determine if in fact this person were a Level 5 leader. When I explained the in-class assignment there were long sighs and rolling of eyes from half the class. The other half of the students moved quickly into groups and immediately started sharing ideas about leaders they wanted to evaluate and the criteria they would use to create their evaluation system. 

As I listened to the working groups and watched how the teams interacted I noticed that the enthusiastic teams were deep in conversation and studiously researching on the Internet. I heard "yes!" and "aha!" as they shared ideas and drew conclusions. At one point a student in a group at the far end of the room said, "should they demonstrate compassion and empathy?" and I sang across the room, "Excellent!"

At the end of class the groups presented their conclusions and I was absolutely blown away by the quality of the work. The students had thoughtfully created evaluation criteria. Then they had either imagined that they were the leader answering their questionnaire or they found quotes by and about the person that allowed the team to rate his or her leadership qualities. 

Some of the teams went further, demonstrating thought leadership and professionalism that I rarely see in people twice their age. I am grateful that these students went beyond the obvious, challenging their assumptions about what makes someone a great leader. It warms my heart to know that in a few years these students will be out in the world making a difference. 

In the November 21, 2011 edition of  The New York Times, the article "A Serving of Gratitude May Save the Day" by John Tierney discusses various research studies that indicate gratefulness can improve your spirits and your health. Yesterday's teaching experience has inspired me to add my students to the list of roses on which I will reflect before sleeping each night. My definition of roses is now expanding to gratitude - a reflection on moments from the day for which I am grateful.