The Year of Gentle Strength

As 2022 approaches I have set a new year intention as I have done since 2009. My intention is Gentle Strength. This is a practice of taking the time to sit and notice what is in the moment. Gentleness is a soft touch. Strength is perseverance and agility. Separately, Gentle and Strength seem in opposition, but together they are a recipe for presence, awareness and compassion. 

How I recognize moments of Gentle Strength is with my breathing. When my breath flows easily, freely and deeply I know that I have tapped into Gentle Strength. Discomfort can occur when moving towards this intention because it requires stillness. Sitting in stillness takes time to notice the body, mind and breath. This practice requires patience to melt away anxiousness, fear and doubt. For me stillness leads to release, relief and even joy. 

This image I took in Stamford, Connecticut at Cove Beach, reminds me of Gentle Strength in that the weathered rocks yield to the fluidity of calm waters extending into the horizon where distant land joins the sky. Clouds above are thought bubbles moving through awareness. I imagine myself sitting on these ancient rocks as I overlook the Long Island Sound, breathing in synchronicity with the rippling water and breezy air. Headiness yields to grounding. My body, soul and spirit are warmed by sun beams and blessed by the fairy fleck of light seen in the bottom left corner. 

Gentle Strength is here and now. 

What's With the Accent

How bizarre that at yesterday's baby shower one woman asked me if I was from Eastern Europe and another said I had an accent. Am I morphing, living dual lives, de-evolving? When I told them Connecticut they said, "oh, that makes sense." That was weird too.

Shmule and Deepster

Happy nephew and uncle.


I am in Connecticut for my grandmother Minerva's 90th birthday party and it has been a wonderful opportunity for all the sibs to hang with our Aunt Patty and Uncle Nolan. The visit is a bit shorter than I had hoped because my flight was cancelled on Friday night in anticipation of the impending storm. However, JetBlue was fantastic and got me on the first flight out on Saturday morning.

It actually turned out to be so much better to fly in the morning instead of taking the redeye. Plus, one of the Project Runway season 7 constestants was on my flight, Amy from Oakland. Ironically, I had just watched her the evening before as I waited to find out if my flight would be cancelled. I am so proud of her work and that she's from Oakland. I had even been thinking, "would be so cool to run into her some day" and there she was!

Today I'm catching up with one of my best friends from childhood, Karen and hopefully tomorrow, if all works out well, I'll see my other best peep from growing up - Lori. I also have a coffee date with a photographer I use to work for, many summers ago, Peter Tepper.

21 Seasoning Salute

I have discovered the secret to making my house smell like my Grammie is cooking - make barley-vegetable soup using Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Solute mix. This mix has 21 of Grammie's favorite seasonings and doesn't have salt - another key non-ingredient Grammie doesn't use. I left my apartment for 20 minutes and returned to a warm, delicious environment that smells like Grammie is here. Sadly, she's in Connecticut cooking for my folks and not here cooking with me.

Outrageous Hospital Fees

Goodness, I went to the emergency room earlier this month when I was in Connecticut and stepped on a nail. The bills are now up to $1600. All because my Kaiser insurance doesn't cover me out of network. Shocking costs for a tetanus shot.

Fw: News Alert: Connecticut Ruling Overturns Ban on Same-Sex Marriage

------Original Message------

From: NYTimes com News Alert

To: Amy

Sent: Oct 10, 2008 9:17 AM

Subject: News Alert: Connecticut Ruling Overturns Ban on Same-Sex Marriage

Breaking News Alert
The New York Times
Friday, October 10, 2008 -- 12:17 PM ET

-----
Connecticut Ruling Overturns Ban on Same-Sex Marriage

Connecticut's Supreme Court ruled Friday that same-sex couples have the right to marry, making the state the third to legalize such unions.

Connecticut's in the house!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Living the Leisure Life in Maine

I took the train from Connecticut to Maine via Boston and back again over the weekend. Living in the UK helped me appreciate how fantastic train travel can be for seeing the countryside. For the entire trip up the East Coast I gazed out the window at the beautiful New England landscape - coastline, boats, birds and even a wolf. The one unexpected component of the trip was the train from Boston to Portland, Maine was actually a bus. But a luxury bus so that was OK.

Sharon, Dee-Dee and Jamie showed me a good time and continuously attempted to entice me to move up to Maine. It was tempting, at least for the summer but I've been to Maine in the winter and that's another story.

The entire coastline is beautiful. We had a picnic lunch on the beach Saturday and then took a stroll out to a lighthouse that was lost in the fog. There we met a fantastic retired professor, Bill Thomson who had written a book about the history Maine lighthouses Lobster. He was so pleased that Sharon and I studied photography in school and encouraged us to follow our dream and to use our network to make it happen. That's what he had done to be able to write and publish his books and become the authority on lighthouses.

We also got girlie and had our nails done at a salon. I went all out and had a French manicure and even had little flowers painted on to one nail on each hand. You can kind of make it out in the photo.

Saturday night we Barbecued with neighbors. Each of us out-did each other with our dishes. Scallops wrapped in bacon, baked garlic, spinach salad with candied pecans, skewered veg, shrimp and chicken and then Dee-Dee's amazing cookie fruit torte. We migrated over to Jim and Kevin's house for marshmallow roasting around the fire pit. Here's Jamie with his wacky hat toasting up some mallows for us.

Sunday Sharon and I walked along a nature trail overlooking the coastline and of course I somehow got poison ivy from our one excursion into the deeper woods to see a pet cemetery. We capped off the weekend with Lobster dinner at a shack out on the water. So scrum-dely-icious.

It would be so amazing to purchase a barn/farm/house for my retreat center dream. Maine is filled with them and many are for sale.

I Left My Heart in San Francisco...

...and now I'm going to find my heart.

After much soul searching and following my heart I've realized that San Francisco is where I belong. That was where I lived before these three years of adventures through Houston, Connecticut, London and DC. It is where I have been the happiest and now I am going to move back.

So, June 28 open up those golden gates, California here I come! Over the next month I am going to continue my welcome back to America Whistle Stop Tour of the East Coast. Next week in Connecticut and Maine, later in the month in Philly. Then... off to San Francisco via Virgin Atlantic airlines first class. I figured it would be appropriate to have a UK airline take me home.

Here, There, Everywhere, Nowhere

You haven't heard from me in a few days because I'm too confused to write a good post. I thought that moving back to the States would be the decisive move that would clarify my life. But in the process I created a completely unstable base.

If you've been reading my blog for a while you'll know that I've been on the move since 2005 - from San Francisco to Houston to Connecticut to London and now DC. In every city I've made amazing friendships and worked with some fantastic organizations. But each move has required me to start again with housing, friends, jobs, activities... Although it is wonderful to have all these friendships it also hurts to say goodbye.

Now when people ask me where I live and what I do I have no answer. Starting over again. It takes a lot of energy to find inspiration each time. I think that I need to look at the next for to six week as a holiday and use the time to have some fun for the summer. How often do you have the opportunity to take a breather and be inspired?

US Tour Coming to a Close

I feel like I’ve been on holiday forever. Where exactly do I live and where do I work? Please remind me before I am supposed to return to life in London on Monday. Stephen and I started in DC on March 8 (best day of the year) and finally return to the UK tomorrow.

There were three parts to our vacation. DC was tourist segment plus lots of quality hang-out time with my sibs. Of course we also spent every afternoon napping. Then San Francisco was catching up with friends. Thank goodness we’ve had the last couple of days to catch up on naps again in Connecticut. Hopefully my boss won’t mind me taking afternoon siestas at the office.

Illustration from Jim Kweskin Jug Band Filmore poster