Lessons Learned from Hector's Search for Happiness

Feeling a bit stuck and found an inspiring film with these Happiness Lessons:

1. Making comparisons can spoil your happiness.
2. A lot of people think, happiness means being richer, or more important.
3. Many people only see happiness in their future.
4. Happiness could be the freedom to love more than one woman at the same time.
5. Sometimes, happiness is not knowing the whole story.
6. Avoiding unhappiness is not the road to happiness.
7. Does this person bring you predominantly: a) up or b) down?
8. Happiness is, answering your calling
9. Happiness is being loved for who you are.
10. Sweet Potato Stew!
11. Fear is an impediment to happiness.
12. Happiness is feeling completely alive.
13. Happiness is knowing how to celebrate.
14. Listening is loving.
15. Nostalgia is not what it used to be.

Hector and the Search for Happiness is worth watching. Now to read the book.

Creative Mind Word Cloud

This past weekend my parents visited and we chatted about my desire to keep learning and then how I getting overloaded. My mom said, "You have a curious mind. You like to learn so that you can expand your possibilities." Wow, what a great insight. I put together a word cloud to explore what I LOVE to do - because I am always looking at possible business ventures. Here's the word cloud that emerged. At first I was surprised that AND was in the middle and then I thought, "that's what I am about, possibilities." Improv is about saying "yes, and" which is pretty much how I see the world - filled with
opportunities.

Holding Hands All Day

Day 33 of Forty Days of Dating and at this point I am completely absorbed in Jessie and Tim. This video is a documentary about them holding hands for 8 hours. It was sweet, endearing and for some reason heart breaking. I think that because they are so young, even though they have a ton of relationship baggage, there still seems to be so much possibility for them. It reminded me of being in love - being vulnerable - taking a chance.

Love Conscious Beginners

Last night I needed a romantic distraction and following the advice of my colleague Harvey Bailey I went to see Beginners starring one of my favorite actors Ewan McGregor. This film hit the spot.

I've been thinking a lot about romantic relationships and what we hope and dream to find. It is clear to me that often we are playing out the questions, situations, disconnects, incompleteness we experienced in previous relationships - attempting to feel whole. The film explores these themes with characters who love each other but are disconnected from fulfillment. They are so fearful of missed-love-connections that they are reluctant to fall in love - afraid that it will end up like the disconnected love their parents confusingly lived.

The title Beginners is their effort to be conscious of these repeated disconnects and instead explore a new path in romantic relationships. Christopher Plummer plays Hal, Oliver's (McGregor) father who finally comes out as gay when his wife passes away after 44 years of marriage. For the final four years of his life he finds a lover and begins a new fulfilled love life - although he says he was in love with his wife.

Oliver could never understand their relationship and it is clear that his mother was unfulfilled in her love disconnect. In the final scene Oliver (McGregor) and Anna (Melanei Laurent) try to re-start their broken relationship that was "predicted to fail before they even met". As they sit side-by-side on the bed Anna asks, "what do we do next" and Oliver responds, "I have no idea." But they are willing to try. This is the beginning of consciousness - the willingness to forge a new relationship pathway, to be open, vulnerable, brave in love.

Feeling the Love

This week in my classes I've been teaching students about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). After watching this video six times, I am really starting to appreciate my type - ENFJ - and apply the types to people in my work, personal and teaching worlds. I wonder if Pisceans, like myself, tend to be ENFJs - Extroverted, Intuition, Feeling and Judging?

The inspiration for writing this post was today's early-morning phone call with Hisun. She has a tendency to call me at 8am on Sundays and usually I am still in day-dream land and not in the mood to talk. Today, I surprised her and called at 8am and she didn't pick up! A switch of roles. When she called back you could hear the amusement in her voice, "you called me on a Sunday morning!" She was thrilled that I reached out and thought of her.

I'm realizing that you know true friends, those who you want to wrap into your world blanket by the warm-fuzzies you get when you connect. As I know more about my type, and appreciate other types, the more I can make room for people who are warmth generators. Sometimes you just have to re-mix your letters to make sure the Judger doesn't take over the feeler.