It doesn't happen too often but when it does my fear of heights puts a damper on whatever fun we are having. The fear has been there for a long time but the intensity comes in waves and they seem to be getting worse. In recent years it hit hard in San Francisco when I was riding my bike across the Golden Gate Bridge and also driving my car up those curvy hills. I felt like I was attached to the bike or the car and it was going to flip over.
Last year there were two occasions when I became the "crazy women we saw while we were on holiday in Europe" on the London Eye and the Eiffel Tower. Tonight it happened again. We went to the Royal Albert Hall to see the Blackrock Masters Tennis and our seats were against the back wall on the top row. I could only imagine that either the ceiling was going to come down on me or I was going to suddenly fly out from the wall and fall. Not logical, I realise that.
The super weird thing is that we were one section higher a few weeks ago when we went to see Carmina Burana. I think the difference there was that the ceiling was quite close in the balcony - not the dome part but the side of the building. Plus, there was a railing all around the edge and we were sitting on the floor (cheap seats). Tonight I had to scoot past folks, including my friend Hidy was also freaking out about the height. Then I walked on my knees to the stairs and walked down on my rear. Believe me, it was embarrassing, especially when someone said, "Amy, do you have vertigo?" Blah.
I've got to get over this and am going to try getting help. Perhaps hypnotherapy? I'm not sure. I've made a promise to myself that tomorrow I will make an appointment at a therapist my friend has recommended.
The part that really breaks my heart is poor Stephen who really feels for me and wants me to enjoy what we are doing and instead we are both distracted by my anxiety attack. I feel much better after going to Whole Foods, buying Indian food and eating rice pudding.
