Jax and Tara

So, I'm more than a bit taken with Sons of Anarchy. Here are my two favorite characters - Tara Knowles played by Maggie Smith and Jax Teller played by Charlie Hunnam.

On a Mission

Amazing how much freedom I now feel with four wheels! Suddenly the whole State of California is open to me again. After watching the final episodes of Sons of Anarchy season 2 I have the travel bug. The show takes place in NorCal (Northern California) and much of the beautiful, varied landscape is featured in the scenes. Well, I don't ride a motorcycle but I do have the freedom to drive to these breath-taking vistas.

A travel photography idea I've had for at least fifteen years has been to travel to the California Missions. There are 21 in total and each is unique. This year, my photography goal is to travel to all 21 of the missions and document my journeys both in words in images.

My fantastic Career Development students are further inspiring me to pursue my photography dream. This semester I have three guys in the film/photography major and seeing their work has encouraged me to do more of my own. The class is spectacular - everyone is a unique character and each is living their artistic dreams. Now that this is the Year of Living Your Dreams I am going to do the same.

Stay tuned for my adventures over the next 12 months. I may even begin with the San Francisco Mission, one I have never visited. My favorite is Mission Nuesetro Senora de la Soledad. Certainly each will provide me with surprises. 

This map is from the California Missions website. 

Fostering Leadership in Partnership

Something I've learned about myself, over the past few years, is that I am loyal to partnership - specifically romantic partners. Not sure why but I hold on tight, even if it hurts me, even if the person is the wrong fit. In the rest of my world I'm all about self preservation, protection, privacy - the three "p's". That is why watching shows like Sons of Anarchy and Mafia films pulls me in - I'm so interested in that cross-over of loyalty to self, to the partnership and to the "pack".

Recently I've been spending time with dogs. Growing up we had a dog but it wasn't integrated into our family, shamefully. The dog craved our attention, needed our interaction yet we pushed him away. Unfortunately, I was the one who found him at the end of his life. Over the years I have had dreams of this dog speaking to me, he is a lion, he is strong, glowing, and loving.

I'm learning that dogs look up to a pack leader. They need a power above them in order to stay sane. This is yet another lesson I learned from TV - watching The Dog Whisperer. For me, following a leader always feels like selling out or bowing to religion. I don't do those things. But dogs need that order, and perhaps people do as well.

This balance of leader and follower has always been a challenge for me. Yet it is different when I'm in a one-to-one relationship. I wouldn't say I'm a follower, just loyal to my partner. Being on my own has been an interesting challenge as I am now a bit of a drifter, a floater, unattached. My inclination is to be attached so that I have that balance, that greater meaning. This loyalty is indescribable and insurmountable, a gravity to which I am pulled.

Over the weekend I met a Staffordshire Bull Terrier and was blown away by this dog's brilliance, loyalty and affection. He was eager to meet me, so different from the barking dogs that immediately go into defense mode. As my visit to his home extended he began to guard me and by the time I was ready to go home he was cuddling on me with his had on my neck. It was such a surprising interaction, especially from a pit bull. It reflected on the relationship he has with his "pack leader" who clearly provides stability, continuity and strength. A very safe feeling.

My life doesn't feel unsafe but I am drifting, place holding, looking. This is such a difficult dilemma as a woman of nearly 41. I never thought I would be on my own and although it is good to be strong and independent it is incomplete. Out here in CA I have my peeps, my friends, family, career...I work with artists who form their own packs, with Boards of Directors that are also packs. Perhaps in the classroom I am the "pack leader" and I am embracing that role as well.

But in my personal life I crave that partnership, union. All these other roles are merely foster relationships in which I overindulge to fill in that empty space. Striking a balance is oh so difficult.

Sons of Anarchy

Okay, so I enjoy Mafia dramas. Wanna make somethin' of it?

First Goodfellas, then The Sopranos and now Sons of Anarchy on FX This one is Mafia on wheels, a motorcycle club based in Northern California running the town of Charming, which is anything but delightful. I suppose what I enjoy best about these shows are the conflicts between values, beliefs and behaviors. Family values overlap at "work" and "home"and play out in the intense, conflicting drama of good and evil where loyalty begins and ends. Suddenly it all makes sense, and then not.

Some of the acting is superb. Katey Segal, formerly of Married with Children is a knock out. Her fictional son Jax, played by British actor, Charlie Hunnam, carries the show with his humor, energy and strength of character (good looks too).

Living in the urban Bay Area you forget that just a few miles away life is quite different from the rainbow of people and beliefs we're submerged in every day. Reminds me of when I lived in Salinas.

Warning: Violence in this video: