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| My dad says I look content in this photo. |
Let me be honest, it has been a painful reconnection for my heart. For so long it was sheltering in its place protected and guarded by my brain, afraid to feel pain. But that was even more damaging because I was disconnected. This caused self-doubt, fear, anxiety, and energy blockage.
Now that my heart is again alive I am feeling the pain so long suppressed and I keep singing a song, "I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive, my heart is alive."Accompanying the song are deep sobs cleansing out the little pockets of remaining pain deep in my heart. This cleansing is so necessary, healthy and healing.
Now that my heart is open and alive, I feel lonely. There is more vulnerability and free flow of energy through me and I want to be hugged and feel the warmth of other people near me. I know I am not alone in this feeling.
Ironically, this week two other Amy's reconnected with me - we had lost each other for years. Amy = Amo (Latin, I love). Plus, I am once again taking photos - an element of my creative self that was dormant for so long.
Through all this, what's clear to me now is that I am beautiful, perfect, healthy, calm, relaxed, grounded, balanced, with a strong heart and a strong mind. I AM LOVE - and every day I am amazed by what I bring into this world.
I found this definition of catharsis from Very Well Mind and it perfectly captures my experience.
The Meaning of Catharsis
The term itself comes from the Greek katharsis meaning "purification" or "cleansing." The term is used in therapy as well as in literature. The hero of a novel might experience an emotional catharsis that leads to some sort of restoration or renewal. The purpose of catharsis is to bring about some form of positive change in the individual's life.
Catharsis involves both a powerful emotional component in which strong feelings are felt and expressed, as well as a cognitive component in which the individual gains new insights.
