December 21, 2009

Physically Here and Virtually There

The holidays impact in ways you never expect. Since I don't celebrate Christmas and got all my cards and cookie baking out of the way, I thought that I had little stress this holiday season. But for the past three weeks I've been losing all kinds of things. First the iPhone and now I keep leaving the Blackberry places, as well as my sunglasses.

My hairdresser, Kathy, made an observation - I'm lacking focus. I thought about this and realized that I'm highly distracted. Yes, the spider bite does cause some distractions but it is more than that. It is being away from the UK and my former family - as well as being so far from my siblings and folks in the US. Yes, I have so many wonderful, amazing family and friends out here in the Bay Area, but Christmas and New Year's were something special to celebrate with my former in-laws. Gosh, divorce impacts you in so many ways, for so long. You may be letting go of something or someone that doesn't "work" but you also let go of relationships that do work when you end a marriage.

Today, when I was in a colleague's office, I noticed a watercolor painting of Edinburgh on his bookshelf. We talked about how beautiful the city is and the fun of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. It brought warmth to my heart remembering all those special times I was there. At least I my heart is open and I can celebrate the love that was there for me.

Earlier today I was on a conference call with Martin, Leah and another colleague Lois. Leah and I were skyping from our Oakland homes while Martin and Lois were in London. How wonderful that we keep these long-distance connections and continue to collaborate.

So, although I may not be physically in the UK, I am at least there virtually.