July 22, 2009

Stake in the Ground

I woke up at 1am this morning having a realization - you have to put a stake in the ground and be clear about your needs and intentions. Seems obvious, especially when you are a strategic planner for a living. But applying that to your own life is easier said than done.

Recently I was speaking with a friend who said they use to have a fear that they were going to get kicked in the most-private-of-parts. That's a pretty big fear. Makes you hide in your room. The more I think about it the more I realize that this is probably a pretty common fear. Perhaps it can be phrased as the fear of rejection.

At the wee hours of this morning I had an "aha" moment and realized that if you speak between the lines and only imply your needs it is the same as hiding in your room and avoiding the fear of rejection. Speaking between the lines is something akin to implying your intentions but being so ambiguous as to ensure that you never reach your goals and others can't help you get there.

Putting a stake in the ground takes a lot of guts. But as I am learning with strategic planning - it is a necessary move. Otherwise everything is wishy washy. Once the stake is set you are going to get strong reactions of support as well as rejection. Isn't it better to know where you stand and to have a strong foundation from which to grow and evolve?

Certainly there is room for discussion, interaction and perhaps re-alignment once you put down that stake. That's diplomacy.