December 1, 2006

Banking on the DaVinci Code

I’ve opened an account at a reputable London bank and I now feel like I’m reliving the Davinci Code.

To obtain my new debit/credit card I have to:
-Pick it up from the branch, or
-Have it delivered by messenger to my flat or office, and
-Provide ID for pickup

The branches are only open 9-5 Monday – Friday. So, no pickup at the branch since I have a job. Delivery to my flat is impossible because it is any time between 8-5 and you can’t setup the time. Can’t do that since I have a job. I received a letter from the messenger company stating that I have to go to their website and confirm that I want delivery and to what address. I can’t schedule a date or time so it is pretty much a guessing game. It was supposed to be delivered to my office yesterday and they didn’t show up. Still no card.

To begin internet banking I have to:
1. Call to request an internet ID
2. Wait for the ID to arrive in the mail
3. Log onto the website
4. Create a password and “memorable information”
5. Be told to call the bank
6. Answer bizarre and tricky security questions
7. Be told to log on to the internet
8. Enter my ID and password
9. Then enter items #1, 6 and 8 from my memorable information (what the???)
10. Now I can begin internet banking

This bank must have had some serious security and theft issues to go this far.

Does service delivery have to be this difficult? To add insult to injury I am now late for work waiting in the flat for British Gas which was supposed to show up an hour ago.