August 1, 2005

The Humid Challenge

Two challenges of living in hazy, hot and humid weather avoided in California:

1) Constant bad hair - frizz extreme and a daily battle to make it straight or at least orderly.

2) Mosquitoes - it's a love hate thing, they love me, I hate them.

Hair: I now have a drawer filled with hair products to make this mop cooperate. It seems to stay straight for about 5 minutes after the torture treatment but then something happens, even inside the house, shwing, frizzy.

So far I’ve had success with Bumble and Bumble products. There are a dizzying number of products you can layer into your hair and I’m now using three, all at once. Like having a helmet of grease on my head. Supposedly my hair is sucking the moisture out of the air so I have to moisture it up with gunk. Maybe I could start a career as a dehumidifier?

Start with blow-drying; add goop of three gunks (always apply from the bottom and back working upward or it sits on your head – learned from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.) Then blow-dry section by section with the big round brush. Complete hair torture with a straightening iron. Watch it still curl and frizz.

Last week I had it cut and styled at a local salon. The guy put so much gunk on my hair that when he was blow-drying it smoke was coming out. He said it was “product”. My god, is this what I’ve become? It looked good but felt gross.

Mosquitoes: I wander outside to get the mail and instantly I have a bite, which immediately turns into a giant welt. Itch, itch all day and it stays big. Now I know why I had those gross scabs when I was little. Give me some mittens, please.

The squiters love me. CURE! I Heard on a news program that the little bastards hate garlic and rosemary. HA! I love rosemary. Didn’t want to smell like garlic all day so I ventured out and purchased Rosemary Oil! Aren’t I clever? Rosmarinus officinalis, the scientific name, is available in health food stores Haven’t gotten a bite since. I use it like perfume and dot it on my wrists, neck, behind the knees and rub it in. Instantly I smell like an Italian restaurant!