December 31, 2008
December 30, 2008
I tried my seat and then felt the need to get up and step back against the wall. As people shuffled to their seats I continued to stand against that back wall next too a guard/usher in his red jacket. He took no notice of me until I asked if I could take an empty seat in the back row because I was concerned about the height. He shrugged his shoulders and said sure. But as the theater went dark every seat was filled except for mine. On a scale of 1 to 10 of fear I was at about a 3 which was pretty good. The guard exited the theatre and I decided to sit down on the floor. Now I was down to a 2 and I could see the performance just fine. As the music and dancing started that 2 became a 1.5 and as intermission started I was sure I could take my seat for the second half. The fact that no one was making an issue of my fear was a huge help. In the past I felt like an idiot and embarrassment to everyone around me. Not this time.
As we re-entered the theater after intermission I took my seat and my fear was now a 1. I even got up to let my mom shuffle in to her seat after she braved the endless bathroom line. There I was, in my seat, enjoying the performance without fear. That was until the gunshot in the final scene, which is my other theater snaffoo. I'll work on that next.
As we exited the theater we asked some of the staff about the sound system and lack of supertitles which we had heard would be used for the scenes acted in Spanish. Their response over and over was that this was just a preview for Broadway and they were working out the kinks. We kept responding that that was good and fine for them but for us it was a "real" night out and not a preview. I suppose we were really saying that we were experiencing it in the present whilst they were looking at the future and to take it one step further I was letting go of the past.
December 27, 2008
December 26, 2008
December 25, 2008
December 24, 2008
December 23, 2008
December 21, 2008
Asilomar is a state park and conference facility in Pacific Grove located just along the ocean front. We had the pleasure of watching the sunset and following the pelicans on their fishing adventures along the coast.
I just noticed a deer resting a few feet away from me. Maureen and I were conjecturing during our ride up about where deer rest during our waking hours. Now I know - under small pine trees.
December 19, 2008
December 18, 2008
Score each opportunity/idea on a scale of 1-10 (low to high):
- Makes me happy.
- reflects my values.
- Promotes goodness in the world.
- I am not losing money or time.
- There are more people involved than just me.
- I am doing this promote my goals and not someone else's.
- it fulfills a "moving-towards goal as opposed to running-away-from goal"
The good news is that two folks just showed up at the happy hour! I am no longer alone.
Why am I writing this "note to self - because here I am again, organizing an event. I dreaded it all week and then all day. Now I'm here and no one has shown because we had to move the location last minute. Plus, it is raining. Rain for Californians is like cryptonite. Plus, the bartender at this new location is super not friendly.
Okay, enough kafetching and now to make myself look like 15 people.
December 17, 2008
December 16, 2008
Now I'm motivated to learn everything business, like a sponge!
Probably not the best temperature for bike riding. Went to a meeting in Oakland via bike and got a huge ear ache. Plus, our house is not well heated. But, I do have some fantastic new flannel sheets to keep me warm.
December 14, 2008
This weekend I am seeing the play Becoming Julia Morgan written by my friend playwright Belinda Taylor. It is being performed at Asilomar in Monterey. To work up to it I am going to spend the week seeing Julia Morgan buildings.
December 13, 2008
ColitiScope is the perfect book for patients to share with friends and family to foster understanding of this debilitating and potentially embarrassing disease. Sharp observations, handy tips, and hilarious anecdotes make it a must-read for every IBD patient and their supporters.
December 12, 2008
After beeing a "squater" of sorts for six months I am finally committing to making this my home. Must be school that is helping me feel settled.
My plan is to spend most of my time in Alameda and only go into San Francisco when I have client meetings. That should be about twice a week. Alameda is so beautiful. We're two blocks from the beach and on from Trader Joe's. But the best feature of the house are the giant redwoods out back. Photo to be posted in a moment.
December 10, 2008
Starting with the end...I have been accepted into Golden Gate University's Doctor of Business Administration program! So very happy about this news. My focus will be sustainable social enterprise.
Previous to that was the meeting in which I was let go from my company and then contracted as a consultant at a far better hourly rate. Health insurance is going to be the challenge there.
So, spreading my wings and feeling more secure than ever in a certain uncertain set of circumstances.
Here we are again on a Wednesday with the Zisman Clan at Cafe Trieste North Beach. Gotta love the cousins. However, these are not them - just a few avid fans. Cousin Michael Z aka Zbo is in the background wearing the black hat.
(had to severely edit this post - too much wine when written.)
December 8, 2008
Tonight I'm heading into San Francisco to see my co-worker Kay Hilton's play. The ride to BART was surprisingly easy. However, I think I'm getting the bridge, tunnel, BART disorder which many East Bayer's are afflicted with when considering expedition's into the big scary city. The only problem with my affliction is that I work there!
Had a fantastic visit with another long lost friend found on Facebook. This time it was Andrew who worked for me at CopyMat three lifetimes ago when I lived in Salinas. Reconnecting after all these years and catching up on our various adventures was fun. Plus, I exposed him to some San Francisco Bay arts and arts folks and he fit into the scene.
December 3, 2008
Liz is beyond a free spirit. I would call her a free radical. When we met in London she was bouncing off the walls, literally. But then she sat down next to me, put her hand on my back and I felt this unexpected surge of warmth. sometimes when all around me is chaos I imagine that warmth and instantly relax.
Chatting with Liz she bestowed another gem. "Chronic illness comes from indecision, causing endless suffering, but it can be reversed." This reminds me of what I am learning through Buddhist meditation. Trying to hold on to something or even pushing it away results in suffering.
I am working on letting go of the painful past which I keep revisiting over and over to figure out the clues that will help me understand what went wrong. I am doing the same with a few current situations as well. This causes me headaches and stomachaches. Is this really how I want to live my life, noodling over what I wish was or wasn't?
My goal is to be more decisive and to be present with the intention of living healthily in mind, body and soul.
December 1, 2008
To top off this upbeat Monday morning my co-worker Theron told me how much he loves working with me and how I inspire him. Theron also lives in Alameda and is my neighbor so maybe us island-based folks like to share the love.